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"I Can Quit Anytime I Want" - Man using Lord of Wolves

Writer: JesioJesio

Updated: Sep 17, 2019



Yesterday, Tower


Medical experts are torn in a case of apparent addiction this week. A Guardian in Crucible activities is exhibiting strong signs of physical addiction to using the Lord of Wolves exotic shotgun in the Quickplay playlist.

“It makes me feel like I’m an actual lord of some wolves. Probably like timber-wolves. The coolest wolf” says Lyle Penn. Penn is the patient in question and baffling doctors with intense physical signs of chemical addiction. He was wearing a tasteful howling wolf tee for the interview. When deprived of his Lord of Wolves, Penn will convulse, lie supine, and begin intense bouts of heavy sobbing.

“It boggles the mind. There is no chemical component, but he shows a more-than-psychological dependence and withdrawal from using the weapon in Quickplay. Especially against new people who are just trying to have fun or learn the ropes. It’s amazing” said a representative from the medical team working on diagnosing Penn. The Speaker wishes Penn and his family of emaciated children a quick recovery.

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